Updated: May 10, 2021
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
Value your time and learn to say no. Yes, that is right, YOUR time is just as valuable as anyone else!
“No” is a word most of us use too infrequently. Very few people can just say the word "no" and, what’s worse, when we say “No” we feel obligated to add a long explanation to justify why we said no in the first place! But listen and take heed! “No” is a complete sentence! The end. PERIOD!
Of course, the receiving party will likely counter with a “why?” or some other long, whiny sentence to protest your "no" and make you feel guilty. Don't let it happen!
If this happens and you feel that stating “no is a complete sentence” is a bit harsh, try to be raw and honest.
Example: “I am incredibly tired and mentally unable to take on anything else in my life right now.”
This example rarely, if ever, elicits a challenge. Who could argue with you after a statement like that?
Don't get me wrong...helping others and doing for others can be a very rewarding and wonderful experience. I help people all the time and I do a lot of volunteer work at a local dog rescue, but I do not do these things at the expense of my own happiness.
Stop pleasing people if it causes you misery or grief. Don't feel guilty about saying "No" either! If you keep pushing the things you want to do off to the side, you become resentful and unhappy AND I promise you, you will end up having regrets at missed opportunities!
Ensure that your lists, tasks and things YOU want to do get done before helping others. THEN and only then, if you are mentally, physically, and emotionally ready to aid others, then by all means go for it! Help away!
Self-care is not a luxury it's a necessity and you should never feel guilty about taking care of yourself first.
You will find when all your needs are met both physically and emotionally you will be a happier, healthier person and you will be able to accomplish much more than you ever thought you could!
So, don't forget to love yourself enough today to take the time to please YOU.
Here is a little spell to help with that.
What you need:
Lighter or matches
Rose quartz – universal love, trust, harmony, self-love
Jasper (green or red; your choice) – green helps with emotional healing or red helps empowerment & strength to resist emotional domination by others (if you feel you need both these supports feel free to use both colors.
Black Tourmaline – happiness, reduce fear, builds self-confidence
Honey – 1 teaspoon is more than enough
Begin by casting your circle. (optional)
Take your Florida water and cleanse your hands with it.
Take a few deep, cleansing breaths in and out. Center and ground yourself. When you feel ready…take your honey and anoint your candle, starting at the wick and working in downward strokes.
*(Optional) Roll the anointed candle with herbs now if you desire. I used lavender, roses, Juniper berry and red clover. All these herbs are excellent for self-love, protection, healing and happiness rituals.
Light your candle and say, “I have value. My time has value, my life being in balance has value and my energy has value. I have value.”
Place the stones in a triangle around your candle. Have the rose quartz be in the front closest to you.
Place the other two stones on each side behind the candle.
Place your hand on the rose quartz and repeat, “I am guilt-free about my decisions. I am my own person. I have the right to make my own choices without guilt.”
Place your hand on the jasper and repeat, “Each area in my life will have its own space and own attention. I will not deprive energy from anything in my life to appease someone else’s expectations of me.
Place your hand on the black tourmaline and repeat, “My energy is my own, it is protected from those who would abuse it. I give my time and energy freely, to those of MY choosing.”
Sit quietly for a while and think about these beautiful affirmations. Think of them as if they have already happened and will continue to happen in your life.
Allow the candle to burn all the way down. You may want to use a small candle, like a birthday candle if you are short on time.
Once the candle has burned down place your stones in a pouch and carry them with you. Their charged energy will help support you. Keep them near you on your desk or anywhere that they may serve as a reminder to you of your value.
Make sure to release your circle and thank any plant spirits, elementals or deities you called in to guide and aid you during this ritual.
*Feel free to add any supportive herbs to your honey anointed candle or sprinkle around the base in a circle. I like to do both as you can see from the images.
PDF for print